The Unsatisfying Patient

At my last appointment, I hadn’t planned on getting shots since I didn’t feel the desperation I had before. Next appointment I will definitely need them but that’s ok. Each doctor seems to have their own protocol on epidurals/SI injections and so on.

So my doctor comes in and he tells me we should stop seeing so much of each other (hahaha). He tells me at this point since I am planning on having my hips replaced the most he can do is to try and improve my quality of life right now. “You have too many issues and too much pain”

I was glad to hear a doctor put it in those terms. Treating one thing only makes it so the pain in the other areas that much worse. Odd how that works.

He suggested I not have shots and I agreed; he was pleased I was in a place where I didn’t feel like I had to have one. He said he’d keep my medication the same and I could see him in 2 months at which point he’d give me a shot. Then he said curiously, “You’re unsatisfying to treat because I can’t fix you.”

Wow. 

I understood; I’d be frustrated too. Still though, it was kind of disheartening to hear.  I told him I was unhappy with one of the medications he had me on because I felt like despite what it was supposed to do, it didn’t. He suggested a few alternatives and warned me I’d have to come back in a month. I was fine with that so long as we could get me to a more comfortable place.

Eventually I was able to get the prescription filled since it was not carried by them. Took a week!  A week!

I was hesitant to take this since I did research and it is not only a fickle medication (have to take it and basically not eat) but also it has a high threshold for danger.  I was very concerned but decided I would give it a try. Not going to lie. I took it at night the first time and I was so scared I’d die that I stayed awake most of the night.  Lol.  Stupid, right?

Woke up the following morning feeling like a new woman. Not even kidding. I got up without much pain, I felt fantastic! Honestly, better than I’d felt in years.  This lasted for a few days. I noticed that I wasn’t getting 12 hours of relief but closer to 6 or 8. Fine I can deal with that but by Saturday I noticed a drop in the amount of relief. I hoped it was just an off day.

Despite the lessened relief, I was able to do a lot of work, cooking, laundry without taking breaks. I even took my niece on a walk in the neighborhood! It’s been years since I’ve been willing to get exercise like that because 1)I generally can’t and 2)Afterwards I’m such a mess that it isn’t worth the pain.

By Tuesday of this week I noticed the relief had dropped more than 50% of what it had been a week before. Huh? This makes no sense. Needless to say I’m very disappointed.  Had a few fantastic days and then it stopped. Sigh.

I’d like to give it a different dosing so I’ll speak to my doctor next month. I would like to start skipping months seeing him but knowing that a level 2 or 3 pain relief is RIGHT THERE???  Hopefully he will change my dose or try something new so I can try again. I need that. Seriously.

Plus October is a fun month. Big pumpkin patch day!!!  So excited for it and I’m doubly so knowing I might be able to do the giant pumpkin patch and walk all day, hay ride, pick pumpkins etc and be in minimal pain. You have no idea.

I did a bit of research. I hyper metabolize alcohol. I can be damn near drunk after 1 drink (if nothing else seriously tipsy) but then I sober up within a half hour if I quit drinking. I think that my medications don’t work because something in the way I metabolize that stuff is off (also could explain why I don’t get a full 12 hours of relief on a 12 hour med and why by day 5 of my 7 day patch I can tell it’s worn off).

I’m just guessing. I’m a problem solver. I want to find the answer. I want to find something. 

And more importantly it’s time to put my efforts back into having my hips replaced.  Actually I’ll make an appointment tomorrow.  I need to work on that. I’m still really worried I won’t find a surgeon who will work on my because of my body size and shape.  Ugh. I need both hips done at once as well. If I get one done, then it’s another several years of waiting to build up time off to get the other done. I can’t see doing that.  I’ll still be in excruciating pain. Makes no sense to only do one side.  :/

I really cannot lose any weight.  I tend to gain and lose 10 pounds every month depending on what’s going on.  I do have sweets and I don’t always eat healthy but I don’t eat much and sadly I skip a lot of meals.  I don’t even eat fast food that much. There is literally no way I could eat less than I do. Although during certain times when I’m stressed I’ve noticed my eating increases. Not usually, but sometimes.

Ugh, it’s all too much to think about. I just want to live a life where I *can* be active and I can look forward to things without knowing so much pain is going to follow. 

I’m still in a pretty good mood even though the new meds haven’t been working but it’s fine. At my next appointment I get a shot and by that point I’ll be in serious agony again. Trying to be positive.

 

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About limpalongwithme

Quasi geek, social butterfly, information sponge, lover of spas and I spend my days dealing with major chronic back and hip pain. Recently diagnosed with dysplastic hips as a grown woman and I need a place to talk about it as I try to move forward.
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