“Hey now I can feel your hands inside me”

My pain has been pretty tolerable up until yesterday. I’ve been maintaining mostly. A few pain spikes a day but overall dealing and dealing quite nicely if I say so myself.  This past Tuesday at my first appointment of the week I had almost no feeling at all in my wound! It was weird. It was also disturbing because at one point both the Nurse and PA had a hand in my wound…AND I KNEW IT.  Having a hand stuck inside a gaping wound in your body – well imagine how that sounds, then double it…nay, triple.  It was uncomfortable and weird and as I already said, disturbing. In fact, that most of all.

Monday and Tuesday I spent in a coma like state after the weekend. Was a busy weekend. Took my niece to the waterpark all day Saturday for a party. Since I couldn’t get in the water, I just stayed seated and got a sunburn (spf whatever be damned. I applied 3 times and still got a burn). I went to a party, and I went out to dinner, all on Saturday. On Sunday I grocery shopped, made a great Father’s day breakfast (French Toast) and then made fried chicken for dinner, also did laundry.  Not a lot of work but by my body’s standard, it was more than enough.  I could barely function Monday and Tuesday. I forget that even if I feel ok, my body is not ok.

Which reminds me, I was whining to a friend of mine today that while my sunburn was relatively mild it hasn’t gone away even a smidge. And today is Thursday! Needless to say, it is very uncomfortable and I am annoyed. She reminded me my body is using all its energy to heal my hip.  Derrrrr. This makes me wonder how long I’m going to have a sunburn. Also, going to need to up my SPF and cover up.

This morning on the way in to the office, I stopped in the bathroom and as I removed my pants I promptly stepped on the tubing fo my wound vac and yanked it out of my hip. There are no words for the horror that had to be on my face. Immediately the vac began beeping angrily and I was in white so mostly I was just worried that gross stuff from my hip was going to leak out onto my pants.

I made it to the office slammed the door and then pulled down my pants again. This time, I looked through my emergency medical supplies. I didn’t have any rolled gauze, no saline, only one ABD pad and tape. GAH.  I did have some draping for the vac so I spent about 10 minutes trying to get into a position to put it back in place. I was semi-successful and ended up with an angry wound vac that sounded like it was growling all day. But since I don’t share an office and I had a pair of headphones, I put them on and listened to music instead of that noise. As I write this, I have the vac off and unplugged. It keeps getting Seal Alarms and I’m fed up dealing with it.  Shortly I will go and take out everything and put a regular dressing on it. Not looking forward to that. It actually is something between painful and uncomfortable.

As if that weren’t enough to keep me up half the night, last night was excrutiating. I must be growing new skin again…it felt (and still feels) like someone is burning me there. It’s terrible. I noticed today the outside edge of the skin is really red (even though that doesn’t indicate anything in particular). Wearing white today with the tubing against me I noticed the color of drainage was more yellow than the usual red-orange. And tonight since I got home it has been bright green, like lime green. So, I’ve been trying to stay off the internet to avoid self-diagnosing some awful illness.

In regular hip news…I met my dad for lunch today! This is actually a big deal because I haven’t left my office for lunch (or anything if I can help it most days). It’s quite a few blocks away…but the way our office building and garage are situated I was able to shave off about 2 blocks. It was still a long walk and by the time I reached L’Enfant plaza I was exhausted. I sat down on a marble wall and waited for them. When dad and his buddy arrived, I told him he could pick whatever for lunch from whatever foodtruck; I just didn’t want to walk anymore!

It’s really strange how sometimes my ‘affected’ leg has no strength and sometimes has a lot. Surely, things come in waves but its maddening.  I’d say I just want the old me back but I’m not sure that would be better. I can’t help but feel like I’m going through all this for a reason. It’s not one known to me right now but eventually it will.  Time flies. Hell, I’m already growing new skin. If things keep up at this pace and I can keep the damn doctors from sticking their hands up to their wrists in my hip then all will be well before I know it!

This next few days will be a little more active than the last few and I expect by Sunday to be comatose again so I’m making no plans specifically so I can sleep all day if I need to (I’m not exaggerating…it is as though you literally cannot keep your eyes open or even remain sitting…awful).  Also I need to concentrate on relaxing; I’ve had a headache for two days because I’m grinding my teeth. Think tonight I might have to breakout the uber sexy mouth guard.



About limpalongwithme

Quasi geek, social butterfly, information sponge, lover of spas and I spend my days dealing with major chronic back and hip pain. Recently diagnosed with dysplastic hips as a grown woman and I need a place to talk about it as I try to move forward.
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One Response to “Hey now I can feel your hands inside me”

  1. Mel says:

    I totally understand pushing yourself with a busy day and then feeling like you’re in a coma the next few days. Can’t imagine the amount of stuff our immune systems go through recovering from a day that seems easy to most people. Depressing.

    I can’t believe all you’ve been through. I’m so proud of you for persevering and enduring. You are amazing! Grow new skin… you grow girl!

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